Healing the Divine Masculine - in ALL of us

On some days, I just want to create; focus on myself, get answers from god, and not consume other people's stuff, read their opinions, or, for that matter, heal or coach them directly. I want to create material that WILL HELP heal some people, but it won't shout it into the world overtly.  On some days, I wanna hide in my own way.  I got antibiotics for Borrelia, and it feels a little disappointing. Did I give in in the face of all the scarecrows, sad stories about Lyme, and the cases that didn't self-heal, or was I genuinely incapable of self-healing, it was only getting worse behind the scenes of my immune system, and therefore, antibiotics were the smarter choice? I don't know. But when no visible progress was made, the headache started, UTI appeared, the bull's eye enlarged, I gave up. Now I gotta be extra mindful of my psyche, take probiotics and omega 3, or I'll start thinking suicidal like I did 5 years ago. Or 3. The first one was definitely physiologica

I set out to learn (and show) more respect for men. I had to start within. Where am I giving men what they think they want despite knowing what they need, not allowing myself to receive in the process, and then resenting them for it? If only women realized how much power they have over men! Erotic power Persuasive power Healing power - Inspiring them to be the best version of themselves, step up, take charge of their life, and lead. Sex with a new person can be traumatic, even if we like them. A story for another blog post. But it can also be so frickin’ HEALING. Looking at the lovebite on my neck, assessing the 9 uninterrupted hours of sleep, the spring in my step, and hot memories of actions that still propel no regrets, I am glad I allowed myself to receive. Manifesting and receiving can come in waves… over a few days. I finally got the gist of it. The manifestations began on Thursday when he still wasn’t around. I gave a man what he needed instead of what he wanted, but I broke a

Are we, or some of us, looking for a relationship and feeling so sad while looking around at all the lechery?  I was one of those. Preaching monogamy over polyamory while enjoying sex with multiple lovers. Sometimes even on the same day. I’m single, and I’m not cheating. Judge me as you wish. But I know you have a dirty mind too. Spoiler alert. I’ll tell you the truth at the beginning of this post. A happy, sexually fulfilling, and monogamous, aka exclusive, partnership DOES NOT exist.  Yet we’re still looking for it! If you consider this thought true, you’ll realize it’s not the end of the world; it’s not awful, sinful, evil, or somehow degrading … it’s meant for our spiritual growth and the simple JOY of being alive! Save yourself the drama, the disappointment, and the wishful thinking by accepting this fact: humans cannot be monogamous creatures for years and years on end. We can be in a beautiful relationship yet fancy other people too. Perhaps most of the time, we won’t want to re

How much do I mind that my friend L. has stormed off? I don’t, really. Especially if I leave my ego out of it. Life is transient. Very transient. We could grieve over the people we have in our life already right this second. One day they’ll all disappear, they could be gone anytime. Yet they chose to be here now and have us nearby. Maybe we’re lucky, maybe we’re karmically linked, or maybe they/we have to play a longer role in their life. Once the game’s over or there's  get one last chance left, the temporal nature of things cannot be more obvious and more pressing.  Regarding this female friend, we don’t have that much history to mourn over. With my other friend E. it was a lot harder to let go. That’s why we had 2-3 years of transitioning period. We knew that the plandemic arguments were just the last drop in the ocean of differences. Separating over different values, socializing needs (mine were significantly lower), habits, and then, once she got her baby, over logistics too.

Right, it’s not 💯 sure that I contracted Lyme from a Swedish (dear) tick, but certain symptoms have already appeared. I’m not the one to run to the doctor right away, even though I used to have tendencies to hypochondria! Thinking there was something wrong with me, studying my body for abnormalities that might need an intervention. Sure, I still have a proneness to anxiety, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I’ve gotten so much more reasonable. I catch myself when I give my power away to fearful projections and worrisome issues. The rash on my leg at the place where I left the tick’s head buried under my skin is undeniable. But again, it might be just a healing sign as the skin has finally repelled the head out on its own. I had flu-like symptoms, fatigue, and weakness when running on 4-5 hours of sleep for a week, feeling the hustle and bustle in London, and succumbing to a healing crisis (more in my previous post). The fatigue and fogginess are, therefore, pretty understandable

I wanna start by saying I'm difficult. And I know how that is inevitably a limiting belief. Because somewhere, there is a friend who understands exactly how I operate and can handle that; likewise, a man who knows he'll have a lot more fun with a complicated woman than with one who's always predictable, agreeable, or easy to control. Love inspires us to be better, and by that I mean even the illusion of love, a fantasy never to be realized, a fleeting connection, a 3-second eye contact with a stranger while walking down the escalator... would I not finally sit down to write today had that not inspired me to get out of my head and into my body again? I would because I said to myself that today is the day, but the blog post could have been forced. Now I'm pumped to write about Manifesting.  I had an incredible weekend in London, learning more about Theta Healing methodology, digging deeper into my limiting belief systems when it comes to money, making money as a healer an

Inspired by personal events, the book I'm reading, an e-mail about anxious attachment, and Kelly Brogan's interview, I'm recognizing how: I am a predisposed anxious-avoidant, real love is still a mystery to me, and  "Polarity can be a war, or it can be a Sacred Union." And we have to start with ourselves and our bodies. How much conflict do we hold in? Can we be both man and woman in one little body and create peace with our opposing longings? E.g., I wanna be independent but also surrender; I hate them, but I also love them; I want them close and push them away. Or, I can't do this; it's too soon/dangerous/out of control/out of the ordinary/unsafe. They're too good for me, or they're not good enough. The sacred union should hold a safe space for all of these fears and expressions. During my self-pleasure practice, a thought crossed my mind... Maybe I am polyamorous... and if I finally surrender to that, maybe my life will be easier. I'd date s

Admit it. You don't wanna date him, you don't wanna fuck him, you just want to have the last word. Admit it! I broke the silence. Me, the big girl, speaking to the little boy inside of him. They say that alcohol never makes you do what you don't really wanna do, it only removes all the barriers, so you can do it. Sometimes, it's about the payoff, not the action itself. I had a whole night to think through my second message. I danced with my anger, resentments, and small pleasure that he, in fact, had replied nearly immediately. But soon, my motives and everything seemed clearer. I needed to close this chapter.  I'm calling in a man. A true man to love me, grow with me, and co-create with me. This boy, who happens to be younger than me, has been very immature and disrespectful. Not all men below 30 are like that. I don't want to generalize. But this particular one is. His lack of basic communication skills reminds me not to date men who cannot level up to my life

This post is challenging to start now that the magic is gone. They say we should take action right the second we get inspired - so I missed the boat, but I'm catching the next one! The power of the present moment.  Interestingly, I pulled out the upside-down Hummingbird Spirit card to confirm my inner knowing. The thought came during my snack time. For once, I was aware that 1) I'm not supposed to be snacking between meals, 2) Yet here I am doing it, and 3) So why don't I enjoy it? It might sound weird to you, but that realization of HERE, NOW, JOY - if I allow it - was REVELATORY! If I allow.... and surrender to the moment, here, right now, I am, eating something delicious even when I'm not supposed to. I could feel double-excited. The yumminess of the food and the precious silent moment on a sofa. I worked on my marketing, walked the dog, and tidied the house, okay, I haven't exercised yet, and my work is still not finished, but I'm breathing, my borrowed dog

I've been listening to the audiobook: The Game by Neil Strauss. Wow! The world of pick-up artists who use techniques like NLP, graphology, basic psychology, masterful social skills, visualizations, hypnosis, and even some magic tricks to get women in bed! Let alone the deceptions caused by their little self-esteem over their tiny dicks, short IQ, no EQ, and over-the-roof egotism. Actual lines from the book: A guy called Mystery is listing what he wants to accomplish with his pick-up master courses: "I want to levitate over Niagara Falls, I want to travel to England and Australia, I want jewelry, games, a model airplane, and to star in Jesus as Jesus. But what I’m really after it’s for people to be envious of me, for women to want me and men to want to be me." His friend Style replies: "You never got much love as a child, did you?" Mystery:  "No..." He  replies sheepishly  Of course, I am entertained, take it with a grain of salt, have compassion, and a