Living in a disposable world
How much do I mind that my friend L. has stormed off?
I don’t, really.
Especially if I leave my ego out of it.
Life is transient. Very transient.
We could grieve over the people we have in our life already right this second. One day they’ll all disappear, they could be gone anytime. Yet they chose to be here now and have us nearby. Maybe we’re lucky, maybe we’re karmically linked, or maybe they/we have to play a longer role in their life.
Once the game’s over or there's get one last chance left, the temporal nature of things cannot be more obvious and more pressing.
Regarding this female friend, we don’t have that much history to mourn over. With my other friend E. it was a lot harder to let go. That’s why we had 2-3 years of transitioning period. We knew that the plandemic arguments were just the last drop in the ocean of differences. Separating over different values, socializing needs (mine were significantly lower), habits, and then, once she got her baby, over logistics too. But it was her husband who came to truly cut the cord.
For I am a conspiracy theorist that’s worth laughing at, and certainly cannot have a good influence on his wife, my best friend of 12 years.
People come, stay for a moment, 3 months, or 12 years, and then they go.
The little innocent child in me still doesn’t understand; the teenager in me doesn’t realize the impact of her actions or nonactions, or words; and the adult in me… well, she knows that no person who’s worth it will be missed for long.
It’s the wise sage in me who says - People come and go, love them, let them be them, and accept it.
What helps me adjust to the temporary nature of things and relationships is the transient nature of my work, too.
The fleeting tone of the dynamics in my workplace has impacted many of my personal relationships. One day he chooses me, another day, someone else.
We’re all replaceable there. Toys to enjoy, objects of pleasure, for one night or two, or fortnightly. One day, we give you ecstatic joy, boost your ego, and sing your heart a song, another day, it's a headache… maybe best we don’t see what the next days bring.
Is that ‘wrong’?
I don’t know, but that’s how I treat my men outside of work too. You get one chance to please me, and then, whether you do or don’t, you’re out.
To the naked eye, it may look as if I like sex with random people. Maybe I do sometimes, anyway, until I dispose of my lovers.
We all know that the chase of the 'price' can be pleasurable on its own. In real life, It’s not that I get bored and have to discard him after he sees my orgasmic face, no, it is genuinely that I don’t want to continue whatever it is that we started. I don’t wanna see what the next days will bring for us.
In the rare case that I do get romantically attached, he better plays on the same tune; if he's hot & cold, I scheme the most wonderful scenario to crash it and burn it all down. And make it look like it was his fault. Burn baby, burn.
Of course, if they resist my charms altogether, I tend to fantasize about them a little longer. But I know that if these men eventually give in, they'll burn in the trash bin full of disposables just as well.
This is a learned response, I observed it, did not invent it, it is the disposable convenient world of instant gratification, untrue desires for intense stimulation, all that which foster repression of the real self that’s, in fact, tender. AI is coming at a time when we hardly notice what we’ve become.
Doomed if I do, doomed if I don’t?
Well, show me that you don't budge at the sight of boobs, sex on legs, and promises of pleasure in the air. Show me your mission beyond yourself and your integrity to stay true. Show me you’re looking for love and prove you’ll be there for a woman who's in need of love…
Then, only then, can I respect you.
I don’t, really.
Especially if I leave my ego out of it.
Life is transient. Very transient.
We could grieve over the people we have in our life already right this second. One day they’ll all disappear, they could be gone anytime. Yet they chose to be here now and have us nearby. Maybe we’re lucky, maybe we’re karmically linked, or maybe they/we have to play a longer role in their life.
Once the game’s over or there's get one last chance left, the temporal nature of things cannot be more obvious and more pressing.
Regarding this female friend, we don’t have that much history to mourn over. With my other friend E. it was a lot harder to let go. That’s why we had 2-3 years of transitioning period. We knew that the plandemic arguments were just the last drop in the ocean of differences. Separating over different values, socializing needs (mine were significantly lower), habits, and then, once she got her baby, over logistics too. But it was her husband who came to truly cut the cord.
For I am a conspiracy theorist that’s worth laughing at, and certainly cannot have a good influence on his wife, my best friend of 12 years.
People come, stay for a moment, 3 months, or 12 years, and then they go.
The little innocent child in me still doesn’t understand; the teenager in me doesn’t realize the impact of her actions or nonactions, or words; and the adult in me… well, she knows that no person who’s worth it will be missed for long.
It’s the wise sage in me who says - People come and go, love them, let them be them, and accept it.
What helps me adjust to the temporary nature of things and relationships is the transient nature of my work, too.
The fleeting tone of the dynamics in my workplace has impacted many of my personal relationships. One day he chooses me, another day, someone else.
We’re all replaceable there. Toys to enjoy, objects of pleasure, for one night or two, or fortnightly. One day, we give you ecstatic joy, boost your ego, and sing your heart a song, another day, it's a headache… maybe best we don’t see what the next days bring.
Is that ‘wrong’?
I don’t know, but that’s how I treat my men outside of work too. You get one chance to please me, and then, whether you do or don’t, you’re out.
To the naked eye, it may look as if I like sex with random people. Maybe I do sometimes, anyway, until I dispose of my lovers.
We all know that the chase of the 'price' can be pleasurable on its own. In real life, It’s not that I get bored and have to discard him after he sees my orgasmic face, no, it is genuinely that I don’t want to continue whatever it is that we started. I don’t wanna see what the next days will bring for us.
In the rare case that I do get romantically attached, he better plays on the same tune; if he's hot & cold, I scheme the most wonderful scenario to crash it and burn it all down. And make it look like it was his fault. Burn baby, burn.
Of course, if they resist my charms altogether, I tend to fantasize about them a little longer. But I know that if these men eventually give in, they'll burn in the trash bin full of disposables just as well.
This is a learned response, I observed it, did not invent it, it is the disposable convenient world of instant gratification, untrue desires for intense stimulation, all that which foster repression of the real self that’s, in fact, tender. AI is coming at a time when we hardly notice what we’ve become.
Doomed if I do, doomed if I don’t?
Well, show me that you don't budge at the sight of boobs, sex on legs, and promises of pleasure in the air. Show me your mission beyond yourself and your integrity to stay true. Show me you’re looking for love and prove you’ll be there for a woman who's in need of love…
Then, only then, can I respect you.
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