Healing the Divine Masculine - in ALL of us

A little update about my travels. I must admit that I got into my guesthouse in Lima on the verge of a meltdown. When they say the past doesn't equal the future, they don't tell you that the present can still very much resemble it. Yes, I might have retraumatized myself by reading my journal from very difficult teenage years, but it had a specific purpose. I needed to uncover the common themes there to stop repeating the same patterns and create better outcomes. I think I am onto something. It might have to do with God. I didn't know how to communicate with him back then. While I cannot say I'm a pro now, I am much better at it. Look, getting out of New Zealand was emotional. Perhaps I shouldn't have drank that glass of Shiraz at the Auckland airport, if only because of the impending jet lag. But I felt very distressed, and it helped me at that minute.  A lot of things went through my head.  Did I make a mistake by not taking that risk and extending my stay? Could N

It's amazing what being honest with oneself can heal. I should add being honest and non-judgmental of all the shadowy parts that inevitably come to light. How else can we make changes if we don't give ourselves compassion first? Apparently, self-love and self-compassion are what I came here to learn and teach, according to my astrology. And I shall. Many new creative ideas are flowing to me, and the signs of abundance are everywhere.  These are my favorite Christmas holidays by far. I am in a new country, alone and comfortable with my thoughts and emotions, the climate here is pleasant, and I have some occasional work, too. I don't like to sit idle. Dancing twice a day, exploring local nature parks, writing, and having my bestie to exchange loooong voicemails with helps, too. Yes, there is some anxiety, which I can only control by being present to it, meditating, and breathing it out. Having lost a fake male friend, who was nevertheless emotionally honest and present with m

25.12.2023 What a perfect Christmas Day. Two years ago, on this day, I split up with my boyfriend of 6 months, and  now, heartbroken over somebody else, sitting here I am. M e, myself, and I . Thank God, I realize that the greatest wisdom comes from all the big and small brokenhearted stories. I also remember that the pain never lasts. I'm not sure which category this heartbreak falls into, but I'm happy to be here, writing about it. I don't usually celebrate the holidays except for the New Year. I've been in movement-rumination all day. I know that even heavy emotions deserve my full presence, so I'm not drinking them down. (I just binged on a lot of semi-healthy food, but we will not discuss that. Self-destructive tendencies haven't quite left me entirely.) So he was right.  Two days ago, he announced: I still see this as a friendship. At that moment, I was deep in my dreamy world where friendships and romances collided, where friends who cared about one anoth

Funnily, we just had the firemen arrive at the Queenstown hostel where I'm staying! Looool, too much fire in my vagina...? Thankfully, it was a false alarm. Recently, I jotted down:  I’m sitting by the water, and I’m awake; my pussy is awake, my spine feels awake and aligned, my heart is open, and I’m smiling, my head filled with bliss… This is my idea of Tantra. I haven’t touched myself today, but I feel well-fuckd. Nature and life lived on my terms do this to me. I am opening my heart to more pleasure… nothing will be as bad as this past year spent in the underworld of a grey sin city. I feel so myself, wild and free in nature; I can’t imagine my life without it. I know I am unconventional. But it is not true that I am avoidant or commitment-phobe. The more I think about it, the more I know this narrative is outdated, if not false. Fears and overthinking make us avoidantly or anxiously attached. I’m done. I wanna be present and daring. I know I need to wear my independence as a b

Instead of divulging the mess, I'll divulge the learnings. I jotted down on the plane that somehow, I sensed I wouldn't fly to NZ empty-handed. I worked hard in that place for little money and in less than favorable conditions for my type of personality. I needed more time for myself and my hobbies. However, I saw not much evidence for my efforts if not sacrifice. Regardless, I opened up to the possibility of creating more work outside of work. I received a text out of nowhere. A little ‘angel investor’. He had different plans with me than what I could deliver, but because of my soft feminine heart and firm boundaries, my alternative offer seemed just as inviting. Still, God carried out a far better plan. The divine delivered without any hard work on my side whatsoever.  So I was sitting there lunching with my new potential client and swept him off his feet by being myself. Authentic, charming, clever, knowledgeable about things that matter to him, too, and best of all - I made