Traveling is not always a walk in paradise, but I see the humor in it
A little update about my travels. I must admit that I got into my guesthouse in Lima on the verge of a meltdown. When they say the past doesn't equal the future, they don't tell you that the present can still very much resemble it.
Yes, I might have retraumatized myself by reading my journal from very difficult teenage years, but it had a specific purpose. I needed to uncover the common themes there to stop repeating the same patterns and create better outcomes.
I think I am onto something.
It might have to do with God. I didn't know how to communicate with him back then. While I cannot say I'm a pro now, I am much better at it.
Look, getting out of New Zealand was emotional. Perhaps I shouldn't have drank that glass of Shiraz at the Auckland airport, if only because of the impending jet lag. But I felt very distressed, and it helped me at that minute.
Yes, I might have retraumatized myself by reading my journal from very difficult teenage years, but it had a specific purpose. I needed to uncover the common themes there to stop repeating the same patterns and create better outcomes.
I think I am onto something.
It might have to do with God. I didn't know how to communicate with him back then. While I cannot say I'm a pro now, I am much better at it.
Look, getting out of New Zealand was emotional. Perhaps I shouldn't have drank that glass of Shiraz at the Auckland airport, if only because of the impending jet lag. But I felt very distressed, and it helped me at that minute.
A lot of things went through my head. Did I make a mistake by not taking that risk and extending my stay?
Could NZ be home? Is there any other place for me? Why the hell does this world still need visas - has common sense totally left the station?
Why doesn't anybody love me?
I left a deeply philosophical voicemail to my friend. It crossed my mind that those could very well be the last famous words if the plane crashed. They'd write about me:
"She died before she could find her home as she was an adventurer. A little bit fucked up but with a good heart. Now she rests at home with the creator."
I'm convinced that no coffee, alcohol, or plane food is the recipe for a smooth flight, some rest, and no jet lag.
Needless to say, I had all of that. Albeit, I just nibbled on the first meal and rejected the second.
When you get off a red-eye flight, it's easy to make mistakes. I have not seen that coming. I mean, while I was sitting in the car and the young driver kept saying that it was 9000 Chilean pesos only, it did occur to me how not funny it would be if they ripped someone off of 9000 USD, for example. It nearly happened to me in Mexico when the cost was 300 pesos, but they charged me 300 USD. I noticed, though. This time, I felt calm since I didn't have 9000 USD to be stolen.
The display was dark, and I just tapped my card and entered my pin. Honestly, I did not see that he was charging me 309,000 pesos. I did not see that number on the display. It's as if the first 2 digits didn't work. Unfortunately, I had that money in my account, and now it's gone.
The lad did it with a big smile and gave me a warm hug afterward, probably so grateful he could have stolen from me with such ease...
I thought, wow, Chilean people are so nice and friendly.
I am still unable to feel angry. I don't wanna kill him, put him in jail or anything. All I feel is my stupidity. And how damn good the hug felt. Jesus, am I really my own worst abuser?
And, when we're at it... even people in the Western world can give you such a cordial smile and hug as they're stabbing you into your belly...
It's as if this incident metaphorically recreated what has happened to me recently.
Even before, I was taken advantage of many times. So this is how the past does not equal the future but is often still reflected in the present.
These constantly hooting cars in Lima are driving me crazy...
Before the night settled in Santiago, 350 USD poorer and stupider, I wanted to avoid making the same mistake of going with an unknown driver, so I called an Uber to take me to the city center. There, I jumped out dizzy as the 30-minute-long ride put me to sleep. At the bottom of the San Cristobal hill, I noticed I didn't have my main phone...
How... how was that possible, I thought I was the luckiest lady alive...? It must have been my lion ego. A long story that involves getting a sim card and installing uber in my backup phone short, I climbed up the San Cristobal hill. I admired the beautiful view as much as my zombieness and sadness allowed. While sitting in front of Bethlehem under the enormous statue of the Virgin Mary, I thought I'd ask Jesus to bring me my phone back. Within seconds, I received a call from the Uber driver. Yay!
Why doesn't anybody love me?
I left a deeply philosophical voicemail to my friend. It crossed my mind that those could very well be the last famous words if the plane crashed. They'd write about me:
"She died before she could find her home as she was an adventurer. A little bit fucked up but with a good heart. Now she rests at home with the creator."
I'm convinced that no coffee, alcohol, or plane food is the recipe for a smooth flight, some rest, and no jet lag.
Needless to say, I had all of that. Albeit, I just nibbled on the first meal and rejected the second.
When you get off a red-eye flight, it's easy to make mistakes. I have not seen that coming. I mean, while I was sitting in the car and the young driver kept saying that it was 9000 Chilean pesos only, it did occur to me how not funny it would be if they ripped someone off of 9000 USD, for example. It nearly happened to me in Mexico when the cost was 300 pesos, but they charged me 300 USD. I noticed, though. This time, I felt calm since I didn't have 9000 USD to be stolen.
The display was dark, and I just tapped my card and entered my pin. Honestly, I did not see that he was charging me 309,000 pesos. I did not see that number on the display. It's as if the first 2 digits didn't work. Unfortunately, I had that money in my account, and now it's gone.
The lad did it with a big smile and gave me a warm hug afterward, probably so grateful he could have stolen from me with such ease...
I thought, wow, Chilean people are so nice and friendly.
I am still unable to feel angry. I don't wanna kill him, put him in jail or anything. All I feel is my stupidity. And how damn good the hug felt. Jesus, am I really my own worst abuser?
And, when we're at it... even people in the Western world can give you such a cordial smile and hug as they're stabbing you into your belly...
It's as if this incident metaphorically recreated what has happened to me recently.
Even before, I was taken advantage of many times. So this is how the past does not equal the future but is often still reflected in the present.
These constantly hooting cars in Lima are driving me crazy...
Before the night settled in Santiago, 350 USD poorer and stupider, I wanted to avoid making the same mistake of going with an unknown driver, so I called an Uber to take me to the city center. There, I jumped out dizzy as the 30-minute-long ride put me to sleep. At the bottom of the San Cristobal hill, I noticed I didn't have my main phone...
How... how was that possible, I thought I was the luckiest lady alive...? It must have been my lion ego. A long story that involves getting a sim card and installing uber in my backup phone short, I climbed up the San Cristobal hill. I admired the beautiful view as much as my zombieness and sadness allowed. While sitting in front of Bethlehem under the enormous statue of the Virgin Mary, I thought I'd ask Jesus to bring me my phone back. Within seconds, I received a call from the Uber driver. Yay!
I celebrated with my hosts at least this one blessing in disguise.
During the night, sleep came and went, but mostly went.
I had to get up early coz I planned a remote sexual healing session with a new female client, and it was awesome. More, please!
This hooting is.... loud and endless.
The plane from Santiago to Lima was 2 hours delayed, so I spent a total of 5 hours just wandering around the airport... I could have spent it productively, but I had no motivation left.
This hooting is.... loud and endless.
The plane from Santiago to Lima was 2 hours delayed, so I spent a total of 5 hours just wandering around the airport... I could have spent it productively, but I had no motivation left.
The flight itself was so uncomfortable, and though I don't mind screaming kids per se, they did make it impossible for me to sleep.
At the airport in Peru, I was so scared I'd be ripped off; I don't think I assembled a single smile... not much like me. My Uber driver couldn't find me, so he canceled, and I was ready to cry again. Not sleeping does this to me, and it is what it is. If you need to cry, cry. I was just exhausted, my body and mind were, and my spirit felt crushed.
Fortunately, my next driver was a sweetie and waited with me until the guesthouse manager picked me up from the street. While waiting, I was ready to tear up again... sleep, I need sleep. And I started praying.
At the airport in Peru, I was so scared I'd be ripped off; I don't think I assembled a single smile... not much like me. My Uber driver couldn't find me, so he canceled, and I was ready to cry again. Not sleeping does this to me, and it is what it is. If you need to cry, cry. I was just exhausted, my body and mind were, and my spirit felt crushed.
Fortunately, my next driver was a sweetie and waited with me until the guesthouse manager picked me up from the street. While waiting, I was ready to tear up again... sleep, I need sleep. And I started praying.
I'm feeling slightly better today, even though I got about 5 hours of sleep. Jet lag fucked me in the ass.
Not much to report from Lima. I don't like it here. It is loud, chaotic, and it smells.
Tomorrow, I'm off to the jungle... Nature sounds amazing, hopefully, more silence than here, and it will be nice to reunite with L. Otherwise, the princess in me is already freaked out that it will be yet another shock to her system. Or it could be great, we'll see.
I trust God will help me figure out the next best steps.
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