God and the jungle mended my heart
Unbelievably, the connection is not there anymore. I cut the cord.
I tried hard to summon it this morning, just for fun, and my inner vision could not even make out the outlines of his face…. That’s so wonderful!
Not only can I not ‘feel’ him, but I cannot even recall what he looks like. It’s gone.
I pulled out a saved pic of him and - nothing. It was like looking at a stranger.
Picturing him with a potential woman now - and wishing him only blessings.
I’ve done nothing to cause this shift other than praying to God to help me heal the shitty situation I put myself in.
I surrendered to my initial pain, forgave myself for my illusions, and obviously, absolved him of any responsibility for that.
I took a flight out of NZ, and along came jetlag, and gone was the infatuation.
Here, in the jungle, I have more important things to care about and new - real - connections to nurture. Viz the previous post.
I think that walking in on L. naked in the wooden outdoor shower helped, too 🤣
Gosh, he has the body of Adonis!
This will be a good test of my New Year’s resolutions.
L. is a serious guy. He wouldn’t sleep with just anybody he cannot fully trust or hasn’t a deep connection with - in his own words.
We developed a friendship throughout the months we have known each other, and we have common friends who vouched he was a good guy when I visited them in Sweden, but it is not enough to base intimate decisions on.
I don’t even know if I could be with a sensitive guy like that.
Attraction is nice,
Compatibility is a must,
Commitment is the step I’m not yet familiar with, but It’s shared values and future visions that seal the cake.
Sometimes, while you’re falling for somebody, they’re falling apart.
No shared visions there.
I needed the recent heartache to learn that.
I tried hard to summon it this morning, just for fun, and my inner vision could not even make out the outlines of his face…. That’s so wonderful!
Not only can I not ‘feel’ him, but I cannot even recall what he looks like. It’s gone.
I pulled out a saved pic of him and - nothing. It was like looking at a stranger.
Picturing him with a potential woman now - and wishing him only blessings.
I’ve done nothing to cause this shift other than praying to God to help me heal the shitty situation I put myself in.
I surrendered to my initial pain, forgave myself for my illusions, and obviously, absolved him of any responsibility for that.
I took a flight out of NZ, and along came jetlag, and gone was the infatuation.
Here, in the jungle, I have more important things to care about and new - real - connections to nurture. Viz the previous post.
I think that walking in on L. naked in the wooden outdoor shower helped, too 🤣
Gosh, he has the body of Adonis!
This will be a good test of my New Year’s resolutions.
L. is a serious guy. He wouldn’t sleep with just anybody he cannot fully trust or hasn’t a deep connection with - in his own words.
We developed a friendship throughout the months we have known each other, and we have common friends who vouched he was a good guy when I visited them in Sweden, but it is not enough to base intimate decisions on.
I don’t even know if I could be with a sensitive guy like that.
Attraction is nice,
Compatibility is a must,
Commitment is the step I’m not yet familiar with, but It’s shared values and future visions that seal the cake.
Sometimes, while you’re falling for somebody, they’re falling apart.
No shared visions there.
I needed the recent heartache to learn that.
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