Death to the old, birth to the new

I'll start by saying I got sweet 8 hours of sleep in the jungle. Everything looked brighter the next day. I woke up with joy, so happy to be here... My eyes saw clearer, my skin felt firmer, my mind was sharper, and my body lighter. That's how important sleep is. 

We held a small funeral just before the New Year's Eve 'party' on the roof. It was a weird feeling to learn about the Shaman's dad's death the day before my arrival. During my last few days in Auckland, I would take walks in the nearby cemetery and enjoy the peace and quiet there. Maybe a little morbid, but that place kept me grounded, safe, and sane. Hours before I watched my friend's Insta story, I had posted on the Gram - Have you been reminded of death lately? Then another story with puppies and caption - .. and birth to the new. Hours later, I saw that my favorite dog ever, whom I looked after in Playa del Carmen, died. So sad...

Despite many annoyances along the way and the shock upon my arrival at the state of the "retreat center," I got over everything in record time.

Resilience IS my middle name, after all. 

Still, a giant spider is living in the outdoor shower! I noticed how huge it was, but I thought it was just a usual local spider, and I told him: Spider, you can look, but you cannot touch! (Nearly like being back at work, lol). I was trying not to shake under the falling water, not so much because it was cold, it was, however, although spiders are a good omen, thy don't seem so cute when they're mere 20 centimeters away! Today, one of the guys said it is a Brazilian wandering spider... grrreeeaat. I still wanna believe that it only looks a lot like it.

When my friend L. texted me a few weeks before that the place was 'very run down', I thought to myself, cool, maybe a 2 or 1-star place, I'll cope.

But yesterday I'd evaluate it at MINUS 2 stars.

I don't have a working shower, it looks like an ugly decoration in the room, and the toilet is tragic... stinks as fuck, and flushes depending on the snail speed of water filling up the tank - about twice a day.

I cannot even lock my door as they've misplaced the key...

The biggest bonus is the coffin still in the common room right in front of the kitchenette and the smell of decaying flesh that has started lingering well past the common spaces...

The princess in me, or just a woman with a good self-care routine and hygiene standards, for fuck sake, wanted to run.

I have been so jet lagged and not holding that much money to play with that I knew I could not run. Anyway, where would I run to? The thought of Lima made me sick and going to other parts of Peru that are on my bucket list would have been just too expensive for me at this time. I was trapped.

Soon after, I noticed that I was surrounded by so many beautiful people. People with great stories, no doubt. And even more interesting characters from other tribes were stopping by for the wake.

Apart from the pleasant Irish Shaman, there are a few other semi-permanent residents in this commune. My friend L. is a gorgeous Swedish guy I met at Anarchapulco, and unlike the man I traveled  in New Zealand with, this young man has no arrogance about himself. No ego, no pride, just an unassuming, sensitive Cancerian Goat.

Then there is a fun German dude, a handsome Peruvian guy, and a nice Lithuanian girl. I've smiled at a couple of local women and men here, but I’m still unsure if they’re staying.

We had a slow start to the day, and I was so grateful for it. Nobody did psychedelics, but there's a talk of San Pedro ceremony tomorrow morning. Gotta read up about it first. I will not participate in everything, but I feel that this and Ayahuasca could be beneficial.

At first, I was thinking of cutting my stay very short. But after the good sleep, ticking off my exercise today, a trip to the city with the local peeps and connecting with them, downing a massive fresh smoothie for $1 USD, eating the best ceviche I've ever had, cuddling with the three kittens and two puppies here, and watching Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT) session with L... I might ease into the flow here more effortlessly than I thought. 

The princess is gonna stay in the background for now.