The 7-year-long itch
For the past two nights, it's been a little hard to write. My mind has a lot of wild thoughts inside. I took some time off to reflect on recent changes and on the far past too. I don't want to repeat the same patterns in my career and love. It's important for me to check in on my progress or hindrances and assess whether I'm moving in the right direction. The verdict: I don't know. All I can say is that I've never had more INTEGRITY than now.
Maybe it's because I write on most days, and while I still don't have any audience, I have to treat this space as if I do. I will. I write it as it is and, therefore, keep myself accountable to change. Because I'm very open and honest here, not painting a saint, all-knowing, wise sage picture of myself, I feel rather vulnerable, and shame arises too. Once people start reading my posts and perhaps commenting, my outrageous content better holds some depth and reflects my efforts to become the best version of myself.
I also gained more integrity when I tweaked my work schedule. Then there's the idea of being careful about the people I let near me and in my Yoni Temple. If I don't wanna have sex, then the fuck keeping the peace. I'm not sure if I can be celibate, but I can for sure be selective.
These days I'm thinking about the more significant romances I experienced and analyzing them. I want to break the pattern. Thank God I have my 5th proverbial milestone, which occurs every 7 years +/-, already behind myself. They've not been fun. It's not uncommon that people find their fatal relationships around then, or massive changes occur in their lives. Don't worry, it could be positive!
I cannot fuck up what's meant for me. The right relationship will find me. As all the previous experiences did. Time is not linear, and it does not matter when exactly or how it will come about.
Maybe it's because I write on most days, and while I still don't have any audience, I have to treat this space as if I do. I will. I write it as it is and, therefore, keep myself accountable to change. Because I'm very open and honest here, not painting a saint, all-knowing, wise sage picture of myself, I feel rather vulnerable, and shame arises too. Once people start reading my posts and perhaps commenting, my outrageous content better holds some depth and reflects my efforts to become the best version of myself.
I also gained more integrity when I tweaked my work schedule. Then there's the idea of being careful about the people I let near me and in my Yoni Temple. If I don't wanna have sex, then the fuck keeping the peace. I'm not sure if I can be celibate, but I can for sure be selective.
These days I'm thinking about the more significant romances I experienced and analyzing them. I want to break the pattern. Thank God I have my 5th proverbial milestone, which occurs every 7 years +/-, already behind myself. They've not been fun. It's not uncommon that people find their fatal relationships around then, or massive changes occur in their lives. Don't worry, it could be positive!
I cannot fuck up what's meant for me. The right relationship will find me. As all the previous experiences did. Time is not linear, and it does not matter when exactly or how it will come about.
Those bigger or little relationships and romances were all important. I learned my lessons 1. surrender to my feminine 2. communicate my needs and boundaries 3. embrace emotional intimacy 4. find an available masculine man who'll do anything for me 5. communicate, give, and receive more.
God, get me ready, lovingly and joyously, thanks.
God, get me ready, lovingly and joyously, thanks.
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