Is love the strongest medicine

Eight weeks and two days before I turn 36.

I wanna do a little self-assessment. It could help me determine how best to spend the next 2 months. Let's leave 2022 out of it (In a nutshell, it was good and bad).

What have I done in 2023 so far, and what's the vision for the second half?

For starters, I went to the gym about 3x.

I've done only one 20-hour fast. And for somebody who’s always on alcohol detox, I drank way too much wine. To give myself some credit, I fast between 12-16 hours every day. I’m still planning to do 3 days, but mentally, I'm not in the right headspace now. Nevertheless, a proper fast and detox will happen before my 36th!

I've felt intense feelings of joy 3x this year. In Mexico during Anarch@pulco while surrounded by my tribe (the night we did a mushroom ceremony), then in Sweden with an incredible couple from the said festival while working on my projects in the countryside, and with my Swedish friend and his friends dancing in a forest (sober, no mushrooms).

Whaaat? I felt happy 3x already, and it's only May! But, let's see how we can maximize this before my b-day.

The health facts - I weigh 62kg, but I'd like to be about 57kg. My discipline with food is nil these days. I can't blame it on the period as no woman menstruates every day.

I'm stuffing myself during any slight anxiety, stress, and even sexual frustration. Been there, done that, anyone?

Maybe I should 'man up' on my physical exercise and find the best diet for me in the coming days so I can drop 5kg by July 26th. The only thing I haven't tried yet is the carnivore diet. I'm considering that! However, I'm never advocating the elimination of entire food groups - forever.

Where to settle.

This year, I was surrounded by beautiful nature and animals, also proving to myself that I could totally get a puppy and look after it well. I spent a lot of time in the forests - in Czechia, Sweden, and Denmark, and got clear on my values and preferences. I want to live in a small town or even more remote, surrounded by nature. I missed that in 2022 in Cancun, London, and Prague. Yuck, can't even reflect on the trauma of last year and the first few months of this year back at work.

I'm visualizing a community of like-minded people nearby, with the forest in my backyard. Healthy and safe environment, own organic food, water without fluoride and other toxins. When it comes to the climate, some parts of Mexico worked for me, some didn’t. Scandinavia is gorgeous during the spring and summer, but I would not last here in the winter.

So I'm still looking for the perfect home. I'd like to find it by the end of the year.

Finances - it's been rather messy. But I'm proud of myself for getting my debts sorted, bills under control, and now decreasing expenses while house and dog sitting. So I don't have to go back to my old job... no, no. I've done a lot of work on my side hustle, and it feels like I finally have a business idea. Healing services are not the easiest to market. But all my energy is now concentrated on a calling that makes me happy.

I'm an entrepreneur at heart, and one day, it'll all work out; it's the law. There's a lot to write here, but I'll save it for another time.

Love - I think I had a glimpse of it this year, once. Sex - There were some sexual experiences before and after, but this lil' 'romance' was different. I started to develop strong feelings for somebody, and then swish, it was taken away. What happened? Nobody knows. I gave him a simple shit test that he failed, so he probably didn't care that much; that's how I interpreted it. Then there was the integrity issue, aka I'll call and no call, so the last messages made him/us appear hot and cold, and in the end, crickets. An intense short flirt, plenty of hot sex, and then just crickets... So that's done for the first half of the year.

Even if I only date dogs for the next 2 months, I still have a chance to flirt in the second half. I deserve an honest, balanced, and loving man. This year, it's crucial for me to learn to be emotionally and physically available. I don't wanna play any more games or long-distance bullshit. So I wish for somebody similar to the last guy, but with better communication skills and integrity - showing up, keeping promises, and ideally, earning good money that he spends on me. Sorry, it's a power and polarity thing! I explain in my programs how women are wired to seek safety on every level. Maybe sad? but it's a win-win situation. Also, I'd probably prefer older... but, I'm willing to be open here. As long as he doesn't smoke, is focused, healthy, a good soul, we have compatible personalities, the same values, sex drive, and worldviews - those are the most important things. But well, Universe, you certainly know my type!

Now - Becoming a millionaire, buying a home, and entering celibacy till love finds me?

I'll eat all my fingers!