Healing the Divine Masculine - in ALL of us

I'm inspired to write! I hope this is going to be gooood...... It draws on a very vulnerable, honest conversation with a male, a book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, Dr. Kelly Brogan's post (again) on Existential Kink - Why it Hurts so Good, my own explorations, an e-mail I got earlier from high-performance coaches and Tedx speakers on developing emotional mastery, and the Orphan spirit card I pulled out (again). I wanted to escape myself .... work, wine, masturbation, you name it, but I stayed. I sat with my feelings, understood them, and realized they were not the reality. The reality I am creating is on the other side of this experience. The way I will choose to deal with this will be the way I'll deal with the rest of my life. Are we addicted to the devil we know? The pain that is so familiar? I agreeeeeee!!!!  Not only do humans oscillate between running away from pain and toward pleasure, but we actually love both ends of the spectrum for a good while! How long we can

"Beaver Spirit says you can always get busy and build something fresh and new if the desire is true. Be clear about what you're building and why, choosing from a place of worthiness, well-being, and wholeness. Self-understanding and acceptance will provide you with a solid blueprint to build again." - Colette Baron Reid's Animal Oracle card deck I love this message I pulled out this morning. After last night's journalling, this solidifies my new resolutions. I have to pay attention to the signs from the Spirit world because my overthinking brain makes everything more complex, and it keeps me shortsighted.  A cloud of smoke must have been coming from my head on the way to work. Then my eyes fell on somebody's shopping bag: "Be the change you wish to see in the world…" Yes, Pavlina, please be that..... And it would help if you started with your job 😒 Why don't men no longer bring flowers to women, court them a little, and patiently wait for sex? -

I want a man who can lead me - us - towards what we want in life. Is that wrong? I have a whole list of qualities I'm looking for in the other person, but I could reduce it all to this one thing: A real man who knows what he wants and leads us toward it. This year, I realized that great chemistry and sex alone no longer work for me. I need more. I need direction, protection, and safety. Love is an elusive feeling, and I haven't quite explored it this year with any of my crushes. But with M. there was a glimpse of loving feelings. I just didn't allow myself to heal all the blocks against them. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi There was a glimpse of love in Feb/March and in the past week, too. I had probably fallen for him eight months before while in Mexico, and I nearly fell for him again days ago in Amsterdam. But I always knew it wouldn't have been wise to act on the